From annoyance flows freedom

I woke up this morning...annoyed. Annoyed that is was over 100 degrees outside. Annoyed that I had to walk in that to get to school. Annoyed at the idea of having to cover my head, my arms, and my legs just to walk out the front gate. Annoyed that knowing the minute I walk out that gate my "rights"...my freedoms...my feelings of being a woman were stripped away and I only would become an object...a "thing" walking down the street. This is something I wake up to everyday.

I pondered on that annoyance...as I do pretty much everyday. I thought about the fact that yeah, it's hot and yeah wearing a million layers sucks...but so what. The opportunities these layers...this cover on my head...have brought are opportunities for me not to be seen and for the Sun's glory to shine. This covered look has brought me into homes of women who also wake up every morning and cover their bodies. It has given me a chance to show them, that despite myself, I love them and want only to meet them where they are. The joy it brings to my heart when they comment on my head wear or long sleeved tunic, despite my flesh wanting to rip them off and be "free". I am free! I have a Dad, that despite my little annoyances, loves me and is willing to use me for his glory. I am not a maryter...I am simply a girl, with flesh in hand, learning that grace and humilty must abound in order for freedom and love to reign.

I overcome. I overcome the feelings of annoyance, because my freedom is found in the Sun and I can only hope that this freedom will be shared with these women who invite me in. They invite me in, because they see that I am like them...that I laugh and cry, that I hurt and rejoice. Unlike them though, I am free...I am free because I know that the Sun's shines. I am free because I know that depsite comments made, despite stares, despite evil, I have a Dad who will listen to my cries and rejoice with my accomplishments.

So, I cover my body. Not because I have to. Not because I want to. I cover my body because these women must and my greatest joy will be found in the day that we are all standing before our Father in freedom.

The semi-end to chicken little....

**The banner reads..."Look at my GUNS...the tiny chicken is soo scared he hung himself...HAHAHA (evil laughter)"

So last night was a rough night for Chicken Little. Now that Martin Luther has come into the picture, Chicken has felt a little intimidated and has struggled with some jealousy issues. Me and another sister tried to aid by giving him some one on one attention...but alas, to our great surprise, we walked in and saw that he had hung himself. I think the saddest part of the entire thing is that Martin still couldn't let it die...he had to rub in the fact that he has better "guns" and that little Chicken...well is chicken. The happy news is that Chicken was saved in time and is now recovering quite well. He has received some much needed counciling...and should be on the up and up in no time!

(No, I have not gone crazy...we have to find our entertainment somehow here in the sandbox.....no chicken was harmed in this story!)

Humility...it just stinks!

Humility...it just stinks. It is one of those words that you think about and want never to happen to you. It doesn't feel good. It makes you lack confidence in yourself. It makes you fall on your face and rely on something else for strength. It stinks.

At the same time it is soo good. It totally meets it's purpose. It ISN'T supposed to feel good. We AREN'T supposed to have confidence in ourselves. We ARE supposed to daily fall on our faces and rely on the Sun to give us strength. It stinks, but it stinks in such a sweet way.

I find that I am humbled a great deal here. I don't like it. I fight it and fight it some more, but at the end of the day walk away knowing that the battle is won because I am slowing becoming a mere image of who I once was. Maybe it's fear of the unknown. Maybe it's pride of wanting to be right. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. It's not all about me. It's about following the sun, and until I understand that and cling onto it for dear life....humility will continue to come.

So, I walk away grateful. Grateful that we have a Sun big enough to humble me when I need it. Grateful that even though I'm humbled, it is in such a way that i walk away feeling more loved and more cared for than ever before. Grateful that humility stinks, but that it is a stink that will forever change me ; )